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Important announcement tod….oh look at the pretty bird. March 12, 2009

Posted by castillion in EQ2.
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Well. I should probably just skip today’s update and preserve my dignity. I will not, however. I shall share with you, dear reader, the very depths of my humiliation.

First let us set the scene: It is a raid night. We are raiding for backflags, which means Leviathan and Protector’s Realm. These are both very easy raids now and Protector’s Realm I have done, I think, 5,348,980,011 times. I might have skipped one, but I’m pretty sure that number is accurate. We are following up those two raids with a try on the Maestro in Shard of Hate, whom we have never beaten.

So, needless to say, by the time we were done with Levi, PR and clearing the trash on SoH to Maestro, I was really running on autopilot. Those raids just didn’t hold my interest. I was thinking of butterflies, staring blankly at the moonlight reflecting on our white walls, wondering if it was too late for a beer, trying to decide on what my next alt will be and what his name shall be…then…it happened.

A little more information…I am, as you all know by now, a Coercer. So, since I’ve had my mythical and it allows me to possess a mob for no concentration, I always run with a pet in raids to up my DPS and to buff the group. Now, in the interest of being efficient (read:lazy) and the fact that I am a macro/keyboard user/button masher and not a dirty dirty mouse clicker I have /pet attack macroed to my debuff spells so that, when I debuff a mob, it automatically sends my pet into combat. (I have /pet back off macroed to my mezzes but that is neither here nor there).

Can you see where this is going?

Yes, while we are clearing trash I am happily tabbing around paying little attention to anything but what kind of hairstyle should I put on my new warlock alt when I glance up just in time to see the Maestro killing someone’s pet. WELL before anyone in the raid is ready to engage the Maestro, there he is killing someone’s pet. Someone’s pet named Castillion. Oh. Shit. That’s my pet that just died, and here comes the Maestro to kill everyone else in the raid.

Yes, I single-handedly wiped the raid. I week or so ago I consoled Wildmoon for wiping our raid in PotAO. All the while I was secretly thinking “What a noob. I would never do something like that. Hahaha. Noob. Damn I’m cool. Look at my fucking HAT man. I am SO cool. That Wildmoon is such a NOOB.” Then I go and do something boneheaded like not controlling my pet and wiping us all out.

Damn.

What a noob.

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Comments»

1. rao - March 12, 2009

I remember WAY back in EQ, my guild was taking on Vindi in Kael for the first time. We tried a few pulls near the arena, but we were pretty weak in the day and we couldn’t kill Vindi fast enough to beat the respawns.

The solution that I, as our brilliant raid leader, came up with was to pull Vindi all the way to the Wakening Lands zone line. As I was off leading him to his doom, the rest of the raid would keep the path clear.

The pull was tricky, but I was determined to once again show what a genius I was. I finally got him to the raid and we start beating on him.

As his health neared 20%, I start getting the ego-stroking tells… which is why I wasn’t paying as close to attention as I should have been at which songs I was twisting.

There was a moment of about 2 seconds where I thought, “Cool! Highsun works on Vindi” before the “oh shit!” kicked in and he began summoning the raid one person at a time.

As people were speculating on whether or not Vindi had the ability to gate and I was speculating on whether or not to play dumb, someone was finally smart enough to scroll up and ask in guild chat, “Hey Rao. What does Highsun do and why did you cast it on Vindi?”

2. Sinn - March 12, 2009

hahahahahahahaha!

3. Stormraven - March 12, 2009

Hmm dont think cause you self confessed here to being a noob that we wont be giving you a hard time in game :).

4. Kilanna - March 12, 2009

LMAO.

I didnt confess in my blog to my total newb moment when we were recently in MMIS like 3 weeks ago. I think I will keep that embarrasment to myself.

5. Shmooove - March 13, 2009

In every sense of the phrase:

ROFL.

Trust me, I could see that little smirk behind the “everyone wipes a raid now and then” comment from my post. At least now I know you weren’t kidding!! :p

Sounds like the Maestro was on the raid like a rat on a Cheeto. Too fast to mem wipe I suppose?

6. castillion - March 13, 2009

Actually it seemed like it was in slow motion, but I still didn’t have enough time to react ;)

It was more like, I looked up just in time to see Maestro put the killing blow on a pet named Castillion, then it appeared as if the world went into slow motion and I watched him run towards the raid like he was Pam Anderson in her red bathing suit running to give us mouth-to-mouth while I sat idley by, mouth gaping open, wondering what the fuck just happened and thinking I really wish I hadn’t named my pet Castillion.

Then, he put his boot in our collective asses.

7. Shmooove - March 13, 2009

If I were to put on my Freud hat and analyze your example, I would say that you had some primal, pubescent “urge” to have the Vamp’s toes wiggling around your backside and for everyone to know it was you who wanted it.

That’s only when I put on my Freud hat, though.

8. castillion - March 13, 2009

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.


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